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In Honor of the Gilmore Girls Netflix Revival: The Gilmore Girls Diet

Time:2016-11-26 06:55Shoes websites Click:

Gilmore girls Diet Honor Revival

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Today is a great day to be alive. Our cells are full of turkey nutrients, our shopping carts are piled high with heavily discounted items and our hearts are pumping with the giddy joy of witnessing Earth’s most beloved mother-daughter duo resurrected from the depths of television syndication. The long-awaited Gilmore Girls Netflix revival HAS ARRIVED.

Like all normal/chill fans, I challenged myself to a 72-hour Gilmore Girls lifestyle diet last weekend to achieve peak Gilmore fitness in preparation for this auspicious occasion. As my first act on the diet, I arranged to partake in a Friday night dinner with my mother and grandmother. I decked myself out in signature Rory garb: a chaste gray dress that reeked of doe-eyed innocence and a black headband. Rory loves a good headband.

I asked my mom to outfit herself in traditional Lorelai attire. Perhaps a sheer cropped cardigan? A mock turtleneck dress? To my surprise and — make no mistake — enormous pleasure, I arrived at 6:30 p.m. sharp to find her in denim cutoffs. This choice, she told me, was a nod to the disastrous outfit Lorelai wore when she dropped Rory off on her first day at Chilton (in the second episode of season 1 — which is definitely the only episode of Gilmore Girls my mom has ever seen).

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My mom asked me if I wanted something to drink. I said, “a soda.” (Rory always asks for soda at Friday night dinners because she is too wholesome for more mature liquids, I assume.)

“We don’t have soda,” my mom said. “How about a kombucha?”

I reasoned that the 2016 version of Rory Gilmore would conceivably drink kombucha at Friday night dinner. I accepted the proffered fermented beverage, and we walked into the living room where my grandmother was sitting.

My grandmother is dissimilar to Emily Gilmore in a multitude of ways, including but not limited to: her low-maintenance attitude, her Southern twang, her superior cooking skills and her affinity for wearing bedroom slippers whenever the opportunity allows. But they do have a few things in common: intolerance for poor manners, a Daughters of the American Revolution membership and a commitment to calling out family members for distasteful behavior.

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When I asked her what she thought of my mom’s denim shorts, she said, “Very inappropriate.”

Splendid.

I downloaded a metronome app on my phone to make sure my mom and I conversed at true Gilmore pace during dinner (it’s called Pro Metronome, and has a 4.5-star rating on iTunes). After three courses and infinite pop culture references exchanged at warp speed, my tongue decided to call it a night. Oy with the poodles already.

***

I woke up the next morning to a beautiful day in Stars Hollow (a.k.a. NYC’s West Village), ready to embark upon one of the most important ongoing plot threads in all of Gilmore Girls: junk-food consumption.

Does it mildly enrage me that Lorelai and Rory passionately claim to ingest large quantities of Pop-Tarts and Mallomars and pancakes while maintaining conventionally slim physiques and Neutrogena ad-worthy complexions, thereby adhering to the gross male fantasy trope of the stunning, slender woman who eats hamburgers by the dozen and never worries about her appearance? Yes. Yes it does.

Did I let this eye-rolling frustration stand in the way of my own enjoyment of these foods for the purposes of this article? Not a chance. Like Rory Gilmore herself, I am an intrepid journalist, and I will eat nothing but processed sugar for the sake of my craft — if I must.

I went to brunch at a local diner. Unfortunately, there was no counter like the one at Luke’s diner, where I would have sat and mentally undressed the owner whilst exchanging witty banter about his stubborn demeanor and my juvenile eating habits. I made do with a booth. I ordered a waffle, two scrambled eggs and coffee in an IV. My waitress asked if a mug is okay. I said, “fine.”

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Later that day, I went grocery shopping for Gilmore pantry staples: Pop-Tarts, Mallomars, red velvet Oreos, macaroni and cheese and Twix bars. I haven’t had a Pop-Tart in like 15 years. As I contemplated what flavor to get, I asked myself, What Would Lorelai Gilmore Do? Hot fudge sundae-flavored, naturally.

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